Blessings in the Midst of Trials

What? Can there be blessings in this? I know that sounds crazy, but I have really been amazed at how God has already been using this illness to bring me blessings. 

The first and the most important blessing has been God drawing me back to Him. Not that I ever left Him, but had been sort of “going through the motions” for awhile. It was kind of like my prayer life was on autopilot— saying the same morning prayers, praying the rosary each night that I’d usually fall asleep during, skimming the daily Mass readings instead of reading and reflecting on them, etc.

Isn’t that how it usually goes? When all is going well in life, we kind of forget how important it truly is to stop and take the time to sincerely seek the Lord and listen to Him. And then disaster hits, and we fall to our knees begging for His mercy, love, compassion, forgiveness, healing, etc. But unlike us, He never “checked us off” His list. He was always there and had been just waiting for us to come back with our whole heart and soul! 

The second biggest blessing has been the new little wellness business I have been able to start. But not because of the money I’m earning, which is helping pay for the actual device I needed, but because of the people I’m meeting through it. Each week, someone new finds me and comes over for a session, and I’m always amazed by the connection we have. 

In the very beginning, God had told me that He was going to use me and this new “trial” for good and that He was going to use me to help others.  I wasn’t sure how He was going to do that and would never have expected it to be through a new business, but He confirmed that it was part of my new mission one day during my Holy Hour. 

I’d spent almost the entire hour asking Him what the plan was and specifically if starting a PEMF business was part of it. After my hour, a different lady relieved me after my hour was up.  She knelt in front of Jesus for a few minutes while I finished up and gathered my things. But before I walked out she stopped me and said, “Melissa, God wants you to know that you are entering a new season in life, and you will be doing something different.” 

My eyes filled with tears as I looked over her head at Jesus in the monstrance and smiled. I thanked her and left feeling confident that He had heard me and confident that this new business was part of His plan for me. I thought it was going to be the way for me to earn the money we needed to pay for the PEMF machine I needed, so that I could do it more often to physically heal myself. I had no idea what a blessing it was going to be for me and the spiritual and emotional healing it was going to bring.  

Through this little side biz,  I have met quite a few people. Many have found physical relief from the PEMF sessions for their aching joints, stomach pain, headaches, and even severe anxiety. But there is something so much greater happening as people enter our house for a session. We are sharing our stories with one another. We are finding connections with each other. We are sharing our faith stories with each other.

I love being a stay at home mom. I love homeschooling my two guys and a few others who have become “mine”. But as any stay-at-home mom will tell you, it is lonely. Having no adult conversation during the day can be so tough for moms. So having adults come in during the day was refreshing in itself. It has been incredible looking back at the last few months and seeing how strangers have become my friends, my prayer warriors, my partners in this mission. 

Another blessing is that I’m learning to slow down and actually rest. I’m learning to let others help even if they don’t do it like I would. I’m learning to give up control. I’m learning to say “no” instead of adding on more and more to my plate to help relieve others’ plates.  I haven’t mastered any of these, but am much better at listening to my body and resting when it has had enough. I’m learning to sit in the quiet and stillness of naptime instead of trying to check a million things off my to-do list. 

And lastly, I am so blessed to be writing again with a new mission. 

My new little prayer and therapy spot. 

If you feel called to pray, share, and donate, thank you!  

https://gofund.me/bc07defb

Venmo: @Melissa-Seilhan

PayPal: @tmseilhan

Same Family, New Mission

Several months ago, I woke to find a marble sized lump on my left breast. I didn’t pay too much attention because I’ve had them before, and they all ended up being benign cysts. But in the back of my mind I thought, “This one is different. It feels different. It’s in a different location than all the others.” However, I did what I normally do and got out the oils, did more dry brushing, some lymphatic massages, and cut out the one cup of caffeine I had in the morning. But instead of shrinking or going away, this one grew. 

It grew very quickly and became extremely painful in a short amount of time. So, I went in to see my OBGYN. The NP there suggested a mammogram which I refused. I have had them before several times and had just had one a year ago. They always make me go back in for an ultrasound because I have dense breasts, and they can never see anything on the mammogram. We were going to have to pay for this out of pocket, and I didn’t want to waste any money or my time having the mammogram first and then waiting for another call back for the ultrasound. She agreed to just give me orders for an ultrasound which turned out to be useless in our wonderful medical world. 

None of the hospitals or clinics that I called would see me without doing a mammogram first except one, and they didn’t have any available appointments for several months. I took that first available date which still hasn’t arrived yet. But in the meantime, the lump continued to grow in size and the pain became almost unbearable. I found a private clinic that did ultrasound breast screenings and made an appointment the next week to get a “peaceful mind” while I waited for the other scheduled ultrasound.

It did not give me any peace, but instead gave me a “suspicious mass, probable malignancy” report and the suggestion “seek medical attention asap” because they aren’t the experts and can’t give me a diagnosis. So I sent the images and report to my doctor and requested another appointment this time with him and not the NP. During that visit, he also hints around the word “cancer”, but he’s not the expert and can’t diagnose me either. So he referred me to a breast specialist who, by the way, refused to see me without a mammogram and biopsy. 

At this point I was just so frustrated with the medical system and started googling and doing my own research. Me and good ole Google are the ones who figured out that our youngest had MCAS in 2020 when no other specialist could help him. (Another long story for later!) I went down the rabbit hole of cancer research, cancer treatments, and discovered the dark side which I knew existed just not at this particular level. I realized that our adopted son’s sister was right. The biopsy spread the cancer. And the double mastectomy and chemotherapy killed her, not the cancer. 

At this point, the breast center called to bump up my ultrasound appointment. Yay! I arrived only to find that they had me scheduled for a mammogram not the ultrasound I called to schedule. By this point, I have read way too many things about the dangers of mammograms and how other countries are no longer using them. So of course, I refuse and after standing my ground for quite sometime, they agree to do the ultrasound, but there was definitely a shift in their attitude toward me at this point. All the friendly smiles were gone.

After the ultrasound, the doctor came in to talk to me and again the words “highly suspicious” and “highly probable malignancy” were used. He explained how “easy” a biopsy would be, “Just a little snip, snip, snip on the breast and another little snip of the lymph node followed by implanting four little metal pieces called trackers into these four spots.”  I think he was truly shocked when I didn’t immediately schedule that procedure. 

I was already concerned about the one little needle biopsy allowing the cancer to seep out and spread, but he was taking about cutting four pieces off. Yeah, not happening. And then placing metal into those areas to track what happened?? Nope! I’m still detoxing from the heavy metal poisoning from 2020 that we got from our well water. And if you need to put a tracker to watch an area, that tells me something is going to happen there! Not going to happen, at least not in the way he explained and not any time soon!

I went home and dug into the cancer world even deeper, reading testimony after testimony and protocol after protocol from both sides—-the medical side and the alternative, natural side from all over the world! Then I laid it all out in prayer and asked God to help guide me in this journey.  And so far, He has put numerous people, doctors, and alternative therapies in my lap and has revealed to me that He will use this journey, this new mission for the greater good no matter the outcome. I just have to put all my trust in Him and His plan for my life and our family once again.  

So welcome to the newest Seilhan Family Mission: Conquer Cancer! And just like the missions He has given us before, we will need an army of prayer warriors to get us through this as well as financial supporters. Cancer treatment is not cheap or fully covered by insurance no matter the route you take. Besides doctor’s visits, tests, medicines, and treatments, there are other unexpected things like gas to and from the out-of-town appointments and therapy devices to use at home in between appointments and special diets and supplements. And because I am choosing an alternative route, none of the above except my blood work is covered by my insurance.

So here we are, once again, very humbly, asking for your prayers and support for this new mission. We are truly grateful for the prayers and support you have given us in the past. FYI: We still have all of our past benefactors on our prayer list. I pray for you specifically at adoration every Saturday and throughout the week during our family prayers.  

And we will once again ask God to bless you and your families a hundredfold for your kindness and generosity to our family during this new mission. 

Conquering Cancer,

The much bigger, but still crazy Seilhan Family! 

PS If you feel called to pray, share, and donate, thank you!  We have an GoFundMe setup as well as other ways to donate. 

https://gofund.me/bc07defb

Venmo: @Melissa-Seilhan

PayPal: @tmseilhan

CashApp: $MelissaSeilhan

Where is the Reward?

Besides all the struggles that I shared in my last post with returning “home” from missions, we have had numerous trials come our way since returning stateside. Not that we didn’t have them before or during missions, but man, they hit us hard after missions one right after another. With each one, I have asked “God, haven’t we gone through enough?”

“I mean, we sold everything we had except a few suitcases of necessities and a few boxes left behind in storage with our parents, quit our jobs, left behind our home, our family, our friends, our Church parish, and all that we knew and loved, to serve You on the other side of the world. Can’t we have a break now? Is this our reward for following You?” 

And with each trial we faced and questioned and asked Him to take away, He always replies, “I never said if you followed Me you would have an easy life.”

Sigh. We knew this. We know this. We read about the trials His followers faced in the Bible and the battles that the saints overcame. But it is still hard to accept some days especially the days I let my shield down and let Satan guide my thoughts for a moment.

But I always find my way back to Him who gently reminds me, “I will use this for good too. Wait. Watch. And see.” And I know this too!  With each and every trial we have faced before, during, and after missions, we grew stronger in our faith and in our family and grew closer to God and to each other every time. 

But we are tired of being tested and thrown into battle.  And He knows that, yet, He continues to allow us to go through some very muddy waters and over some steep mountains because He knows what we need to continue on our journey to Heaven more than we do—-and that is to totally depend on Him and seek Him.

He knows that the more we journey back into the real world, the less and less we depend on Him and the further away we drift from Him and each other. So, He allows another mountain to be set before us to draw us back to our knees in front of Him and back to each other. 

And with this newest mountain we are facing, knowing all that I know, I still find myself asking again  “Why? Why me? Why us? Where is our reward?” And He smiles and reminds me, “That the reward is Heaven and this is my and my family’s path there.”

So we pick up this cross too and relearn how to completely surrender it to Him and follow His lead once again.

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