Where is the Reward?

Besides all the struggles that I shared in my last post with returning “home” from missions, we have had numerous trials come our way since returning stateside. Not that we didn’t have them before or during missions, but man, they hit us hard after missions one right after another. With each one, I have asked “God, haven’t we gone through enough?”

“I mean, we sold everything we had except a few suitcases of necessities and a few boxes left behind in storage with our parents, quit our jobs, left behind our home, our family, our friends, our Church parish, and all that we knew and loved, to serve You on the other side of the world. Can’t we have a break now? Is this our reward for following You?” 

And with each trial we faced and questioned and asked Him to take away, He always replies, “I never said if you followed Me you would have an easy life.”

Sigh. We knew this. We know this. We read about the trials His followers faced in the Bible and the battles that the saints overcame. But it is still hard to accept some days especially the days I let my shield down and let Satan guide my thoughts for a moment.

But I always find my way back to Him who gently reminds me, “I will use this for good too. Wait. Watch. And see.” And I know this too!  With each and every trial we have faced before, during, and after missions, we grew stronger in our faith and in our family and grew closer to God and to each other every time. 

But we are tired of being tested and thrown into battle.  And He knows that, yet, He continues to allow us to go through some very muddy waters and over some steep mountains because He knows what we need to continue on our journey to Heaven more than we do—-and that is to totally depend on Him and seek Him.

He knows that the more we journey back into the real world, the less and less we depend on Him and the further away we drift from Him and each other. So, He allows another mountain to be set before us to draw us back to our knees in front of Him and back to each other. 

And with this newest mountain we are facing, knowing all that I know, I still find myself asking again  “Why? Why me? Why us? Where is our reward?” And He smiles and reminds me, “That the reward is Heaven and this is my and my family’s path there.”

So we pick up this cross too and relearn how to completely surrender it to Him and follow His lead once again.

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